Finding out about a friend's pregnancy when you have fertility issues can be news that causes a mix of emotions that you may find difficult to manage. You feel joy, but also frustration, anger...
On the other hand, when you want to tell a friend who is having fertility problems that you are pregnant, there may be some hesitation about how to do it, since you don't want to hurt her.
In this article we will discuss both cases: how to deal with the news of a friend's pregnancy when you have fertility problems and how to announce your pregnancy to a friend who you know is having trouble getting pregnant.
The different sections of this article have been assembled into the following table of contents.
If you have fertility issues, having a friend tell you she is pregnant can be a difficult thing to manage. You would love to feel joy, but the truth is that this feeling is confused and mixed with frustration, pain, anger... and you get totally blocked.
This reaction is normal, since what you want the most and what you are having such a hard time getting, it seems that everyone else gets it easily. Therefore, you should know that you are not a bad person for feeling this way.
Although you may not be as happy as you would like to be for your friend, you do not wish her any ill will or have negative feelings toward her. This feeling of loss, of emptiness, is completely normal when such an important life project is cut short. You are going through a mourning, because of the unfulfilled desire for motherhood.
As recommendations for handling this news, we can give you the following:
In addition, you can seek the help of a psychologist. Receiving this news is likely to overwhelm you, so do not hesitate to turn to professionals who can help you if it is affecting you too much.
If you have a friend with fertility problems, you may find it complicated and difficult to tell her that you have become pregnant. You know it's going to be hard for her, but you don't want to hide it from her because of your friendship.
Besides, it doesn't make sense, since sooner or later she will end up finding out about your pregnancy, or even find out from other people (which will be even worse). Therefore, it is important to have a conversation with that friend to tell her before she finds out about your pregnancy in another way and your friendship is damaged.
Here are some tips for telling your friend with infertility problems that you are pregnant.
When telling a friend who has fertility problems that you are pregnant, you may find it helpful to keep these recommendations in mind:
Finally, don't be afraid to express that you know it's hard for her and that you understand. Maybe it can help your friend not to feel guilty about feeling the mix of feelings she's going to feel,
When a woman encounters problems in getting pregnant, finding out about the pregnancy of a friend, family member, co-worker or simply an acquaintance is quite difficult to manage, especially if the pregnant woman is someone close to her.
The woman experiences an internal conflict because she feels that she should be happy for her pregnant friend, but she also feels frustration, anger and, to a certain extent, envy.
Therefore, the woman may wonder if she is a bad person for this or if what she has felt is wrong, but it is a normal mixture of feelings. Moreover, she does not wish the pregnant person ill, but it is a completely normal reaction generated by the feeling of loss and the grief of not getting pregnant.
In any case, if learning about someone else's pregnancy is affecting the woman with fertility problems too much, she should seek the help of a psychologist to deal with the situation in a healthier way.
There is no one best time to tell a friend who has fertility problems about a pregnancy. However, what is advisable is to tell her before she realises that you are hiding something from her and before she finds out about the pregnancy because it is already obvious or, even worse, from other people.
The recommendation is to do so when you are clear about what you are going to tell her and in a quiet and private place, avoiding details and advice and showing a lot of understanding.
If you are undergoing fertility treatment and do not know whether to tell your friends and family, we recommend you to visit the following link: Do we tell that we are undergoing fertility treatment? To whom?
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